June 2009
29 posts
1 tag
Conundrum
Who is the most polished king in the world? Blacking.
Jun 29th
10 notes
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is an author like a Chinaman? Because his tale (tail) comes out of his head.
Jun 28th
8 notes
1 tag
Conundrum
What did the cheese say to the toasting fork? You are too pointed.
Jun 27th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is a kiss like a sermon? Because it requires two heads and an application.
Jun 26th
2 tags
Conundrum
Why is a bashful lover like rice corn? He turns white when he pops.
Jun 25th
2 tags
Conundrum
Why are sheep the most dissipated of animals? Because they gamble (gambol) all their youth, spend most of their lives on the turf, the best of them are black legs, and they are fleeced at last.
Jun 24th
1 tag
Conundrum
If a man gets up on a donkey where should he get down? From a swan’s breast.
Jun 23rd
1 tag
Conundrum
When is bread inhabited? When it has a little Indian in it.
Jun 22nd
2 tags
Conundrum
If a woman were to change her sex why could she no longer be a Christian? Because she would be a he(a)then.
Jun 21st
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is a sneeze like Niagara? Because it is a catarrh-act.
Jun 20th
2 tags
Conundrum
What is vinegar without a mother? It is orphan very poor.
Jun 19th
1 tag
Conundrum
If you saw an egg on a music-stool what great poem would it remind you of? The lay of the last minstrel.
Jun 18th
2 tags
Conundrum
How do we know that Job had a bicycle? Because he said, “Oh, Lord, look out for my safety.”
Jun 17th
1 tag
Conundrum
What did Lot’s wife turn to— Rubber!
Jun 16th
3 tags
Conundrum
Which are more valuable, women or men? Men, because they give away brides; but bridegrooms are often sold.
Jun 15th
1 note
2 tags
Conundrum
Why isn’t Dewey an admiral any more? Because he is his wife’s second mate.
Jun 14th
Conundrum
When is the molasses wedding? When the first baby is old enough to lick.
Jun 13th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is Gillott a very wicked man? Because he makes people steal (steel) pens and then say they do right (write).
Jun 12th
1 tag
Conundrum
When was beef tea first made in England? When Henry VII dissolved the papal bull.
Jun 11th
1 tag
Conundrum
Where should the American eagle sit in the theater? In the bald-head row.
Jun 10th
2 tags
Conundrum
When you examine a dog’s lungs under the X ray what do you find? The seat of his pants. When looking into a dog’s mouth what do you sometimes find? The seat of somebody’s else pants.
Jun 9th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why are the passengers of an electric car like the current? Because they make the car-go.
Jun 8th
2 tags
Conundrum
If a goat should swallow a rabbit what would be the result? A hare in the butter.
Jun 7th
2 tags
Conundrum
If you get parasites from Paris and germs from German, what do you get from Ireland? Microbes (Mike-robes).
Jun 6th
1 tag
Conundrum
What was it that lived to see Christmas, didn’t see New Years, and died in the Spring? A calf that was drowned in a spring between Christmas and New Year’s.
Jun 5th
2 tags
Conundrum
What was it that was only four weeks old when Adam was a boy and not five weeks old when he was a man? The moon.
Jun 4th
1 tag
Conundrum
When you see a man scratching his head, what time is it? Five after one.
Jun 3rd
2 tags
Conundrum
Why cannot the man in the moon get married? Because he gets only a quarter a week and he needs that to get full on.
Jun 2nd
1 tag
Conundrum
What kind of medicine does the iceman take? Pond’s extract.
Jun 1st
May 2009
32 posts
1 tag
Conundrum
If a Uneeda biscuit is a soda cracker, what is an ice pick? A water cracker.
May 31st
2 tags
Conundrum
Where did Moses’ baby clothes come from? Jordan Marsh.
May 30th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is life like the greatest conundrum? Because it has to be given up.
May 29th
1 tag
Conundrum
What animal would you be on a cold day? A little otter.
May 28th
1 tag
Conundrum
What is the difference between a farmer and a sailor? One is a rusticus—the other a nauticus (Latin Der.)
May 28th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why was it decided to sink the Merrimac? Because it was “Hobson’s Choice.”
May 27th
1 tag
Conundrum
What was the Chinaman’s opinion of the Spanish war? Spaniard all talk-ee, talk-ee. Melican all Dewey-Dewey.
May 26th
1 tag
Riddle
What was the color of the “Maine”? Blew (blue) up from the bottom.
May 25th
1 tag
Conundrum
Why is Cupid always represented as a baby boy? Because love so often dies in its infancy.
May 24th
2 tags
Conundrum
What is men’s opinion of bloomers? They are divided.
May 23rd
1 tag
Conundrum
What is the difference between a hen with one wing and a hen with two wings? A difference of o ‘pinion.
May 22nd
2 tags
Riddle
Q: Why do women carry parasols? A: The sun is of the masculine gender, and they cannot endure his ardent glances.
May 21st
1 tag
Bible riddle
What words in the Bible were not spoken by God, man, angel or devil? The words spoken by Balaam’s ass.
May 20th
1 tag
Bible riddle
Who is the first boy mentioned in the Bible? Chap I.
May 19th
1 tag
Biographical riddle
Q: What brief epitaph can you suggest for Ingersoll’s grave that would satisfy both friends and foes? A: Robert Burns.
May 18th
1 tag
Biographical riddle
Q: When an Englishman said to Lincoln: “What was your family coat-of-arms?” he said: “— A: Shirt sleeves.
May 17th
1 tag
Riddle
Why are widows more generous than young girls. Because girls are looking out for number one; widows are satisfied with number two.
May 16th
1 tag
Riddle
Q: How can you ask a doctor of divinity, in one word, to play a violin? A: Fiddle-dee-dee.
May 15th
1 tag
Riddle
Q: Of what trade was Johnnie Horner? A: A Plumber.
May 14th
1 tag
Riddle
Q: My first two are what Gladstone wants, my last two are what Gladstone hates; my whole expresses what Gladstone is. A: Reformatory.
May 13th
1 tag
Riddle
What is better than an idea? You dea’.
May 12th